Birthday Rhymes
by Mikara
Summary: Anybody up for "Little Miss Clapika?"A birthday present to my sister Legato
1. Jingle Bells

A/N: Finally, I'm working on something other than the R.O.W. Manual…I seem to have no sound fic ideas these days except for parodies and that sort of thing…nothing like SPOE R.O.W. Style or A Visit To The Shrine (AH! I now worship all thee as better fic writers than I!). Um, ok, anyway, this is a collection of poems/songs that I wrote/tinkered with for my sister Legato- chan's birthday, which is tomorrow. Or today. Or last week, depending on when you're reading this. Tonikaku, to start this whole thing off:  
  
Never had I chance to see  
  
An androgyny so lovely as thee  
  
So this is a bit of poetry  
  
Dedicated to you, from me.  
  
1 Jingle Bells  
  
O,  
  
Legato-chan, Legato-chan,  
  
As genki as can be  
  
You pretend that you're a man  
  
Oh so prettily  
  
O,  
  
Legato-chan, Legato-chan,  
  
As happy as can be  
  
You do dream of visions so grand  
  
Of fire and misery  
  
Dashing through the fire  
  
On a one-man open melef  
  
Burning your cousin's tires  
  
But no you don't smell it  
  
You just keep on moving  
  
While you're singing a song  
  
It's probably Strawberry Kiss Kiss  
  
From Tokyo Babylon.  
  
Birds and squirrels scream  
  
Let her stop, they pray  
  
For you are screeching once more  
  
In that high-pitched way  
  
Running on the field  
  
After the R.O.W.  
  
You can't help but pout and shout  
  
You put on a good show.  
  
O,  
  
Legato-chan, Legato-chan,  
  
As hyper as can be  
  
She proclaims to all she's tall  
  
And has twenty-two bishies  
  
O,  
  
Legato-chan, Legato-chan,  
  
As silly as can be  
  
Spreading her insane ways  
  
All over Quezon City! 


	2. The Itsy Bitsy Legato

1 The Itsy Bitsy Legato  
  
The itsy bitsy Legato  
  
went up the waterspout.  
  
Down came the pudding  
  
and washed Legato out.  
  
Out came a wallaby  
  
and ate up all the stew  
  
And the itsy bitsy Legato  
  
went up the spout anew. 


	3. Sing a Song of Legapence

1 Sing a Song of Legapence  
  
Sing a song of legapence  
  
A pocket full of Why?  
  
Four-and-twenty bishies  
  
Baked in a pie.  
  
When the pie was opened  
  
The guys began to sing  
  
What a dish to set before  
  
The Legalegaking!  
  
The king was in the happy house  
  
Counting out his money  
  
The queen was in the podium  
  
Eating bread and jelly  
  
The maid was in the garden  
  
Hanging out my clothes  
  
When down came a bishounen  
  
And snipped off her nose! 


	4. The Lega and the Hissycat

1 The Lega and the Hissycat  
  
Lega and the Hissycat went to sea  
  
In a beautiful blood-red boat  
  
They took some honey and plenty of money  
  
Wrapped up in a five-pound note  
  
Lega looked up to the stars above  
  
And sang to a small guitar.  
  
"O lovely Hissy, o Hissy my love  
  
What a beautiful Hissy you are,  
  
You are,  
  
You are!  
  
What a beautiful Hissy you are!"  
  
Hissy said to Lega, "You elegant fowl!  
  
How charmingly sweet you sing!  
  
O, let us be married  
  
Too long we have tarried:  
  
But what shall we do for a ring?"  
  
They sailed away for a year and a day  
  
To the land where the bong tree grows,  
  
And there in a wood a piggywig stood,  
  
With a ring at the end of his nose,  
  
His nose,  
  
His nose,  
  
His nose.  
  
With a ring at the end of his nose.  
  
"Dear Pig, are you willing to sell for one shilling  
  
Your ring?"  
  
Said the Piggy, "I will."  
  
So they took it away and were married next day  
  
By the turkey who lives on the hill.  
  
They dined on mince and slices of quince,  
  
Which they ate with a runcible spoon;  
  
And hand in hand, on the edge of the sand,  
  
They danced by the light of the moon,  
  
The moon,  
  
The moon,  
  
The moon.  
  
They danced by the light of the moon. 


	5. Little Miss Clapika

1 Little Miss Clapika  
  
Little Miss Clapika  
  
Sat on a sofa  
  
Eating her curds and whey;  
  
There came a great spider,  
  
Who sat down beside her,  
  
And got squished by Miss Clapika's tray.  
  
  
  
  
  
A/N: Not so bad, eh? Yeah, I had fun doing this fic…looks like parodies are another specialty of mine…it's just so fun to build upon somebody else's idea and sort of spice it up a bit…I guess that's what fanfiction is really about ne? Anyway I was going over these chapters again when I noticed that some people might not get what some lines in the rhymes were referring to. So just to set the record straight, here are some clarifications:  
  
"Burning your cousin's tires/But no you don't smell it"—of course Legato never really did burn our cousin's tires. And what tires would there be to speak of? None of our cousins can drive a motored vehicle yet—the eldest one is twelve. And though I certainly don't like him very much I would NEVER let Legato do my own dirty work—I would do it myself! (First, I'd plant a bomb, then…)  
  
"For she is screeching once more/In that high-pitched way"—Legato, and to a lesser extent myself, are renowned our respective classes over for our, ehem, "peculiar" way of singing. (think: that mouse choir in Babe: Pig in the City)  
  
"Running on the field/After the R.O.W."—the R.O.W. is like us and our friends' one thing that separates us from all other groups of friends. To learn more about it, read "The R.O.W. Manual: A Guide to the Weirdness" by yours truly and/or read the FellowshipOfTheROW bio, as well as sample our collective fics.  
  
"legapence"—Lega(to) + pence (sixpence in the original)  
  
"A pocket full of Why?"—Legato's favorite question is "Why?"  
  
"Legalegaking"—Legalega=one of Legato's nicknames. –king=King (of a country, for example)  
  
"happy house"—in other words, an asylum o_O;;;  
  
"The Lega and the Hissycat"—Lega: Legato, Hissycat: Hisoka  
  
"You elegant fowl!"—I dunno. Is Legato supposed to be a bird or something??? ^^;;;  
  
"Mince and slices of quince"—mince, I know, is a form of meat. And if my memory serves me right, quince is a kind of or way of preparing fruit.  
  
"runcible spoon"—no, I do not know what runcible means. When I right- clicked it in Microsoft Word and looked for the synonyms, all I got was "crucible," "crucibles," and "fungible." Now does anybody want to tell me what "fungible" means?  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Did I get everything? If not, please tell me. I'm only happy to be of help.  
  
  
  
Thanks in kind,  
  
Mikara 


End file.
